Mendez picked it up and shook it. “Hm, I can’t tell what it is. It’s heavy, though.”

“Fork it over, Mr. Rock Hard. I believe it’s addressed to me.”

The card said it was from Tom and Jodi. My stomach turned over and I hesitated over the wrapping paper. It was shiny and covered with chubby, half-naked cherubs. I was guessing Tom hadn’t picked it out, but then again, he had been exhibiting some questionable behavior as of late.

“Open it up already, nancy-boy, the suspense is killing me.”

“All right, all right. Cool your ‘roid rage.” I tore open the wrapper and it was…

“A book? That’s not much of a gift.”

I ignored Mendez as I turned the book over to read its cover. The title was emblazoned all over the front in white, loopy handwriting: Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth.

I opened the book and found an inscription in a handwriting I didn’t recognize:

To Jordan,
Thank you so, so much for helping us find our one true love. I think this book will help you find yours.
XOXO
Tom & Jodi