Comments on That Girl. You Know, the One in the Mirror by wytherwings

More Ways Than One

YAY ! SMILING!
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.
THX 0477

A nice sentiment, very sweet and inspirational. Your comma use is a little inconsistent. It seems like you mean them to signify dramatic pauses, but it winds up looking like poor grammar. Maybe try elipses instead? (three periods in a row)
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.
Blusparrow

I like it! A lot! Everyone changes that is what is great about us! If we didn’t change we would always be the same.
LoA
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.
One Time, One Chance

actually, i have to disagree with THX . i think the comma’s are nicely placed, it makes it flow nicer as i’m reading this to myself inside my head.
really nice piece, definitely inspirational!
=]
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.
Tad Winslow

She’s… rawer.— YEAH she is. Love that line. Love this ficlet. It reminds me of the way Stephen King hits you and hits you with energy on a singular topic. I really love this. Bravo.
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.
Tad Winslow

I mean, wow. lol, I’m really impressed. Love the energy!
- Posted 2009-01-12 04:01:38.