Edmund Extracts the High School Students

Edmund the Extractor received a text message: plz help: hostage in La Vega High School gym: have $.

His attention wasn’t piqued until his eyes located his favorite little symbol.

Edmund walked into La Vega High School and growled at the secretary, “I need to know where the gym is and I need to know now!”

“And who are you exactly?” she asked.

“My identity is not the issue! There are students being held against their will! And those students are in the gymnasium!”

The secretary panicked, “Oh, my God! I’ll dial 911!”

“That won’t be necessary, I’ll be in and out. Where is the gym!?”

“Two lefts and a right! Can’t miss it!”

He walked into the gym wielding his medicine ball launcher.

“What in God’s green earth are you doing here, maggot!?” the gym teacher growled.

“My job,” Edmund responded, launching a red medicine ball at him. He was knocked into the bleachers, unconscious.

“Thank God you got here when you did,” Mark said. “He was about to make us run laps.”

Edmund smiled. Another job well done.

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