Jack Bauer eat your heart out, Jason thought as he covered his imitation kevlar vest with a homemade CTU jacket. Shield around his neck, holster clinging to his waist, Jason was ready to live his dream. He was ready to be the hero.

But first, he needed some food. Where to go with so little time? In the distance, he spotted the alluring if not ubiquitous golden arches.

He stormed the establishment, shouting, “CTU! Everybody down!”

At first, they just stared. But then they saw his gun. And hit the floor. One peculiar man was walking to his table, tray in hand, oblivious to Jason. This must be the perp. Without hesitation, Jason tackled him, sending food and beverages everywhere.

“Where is the Serin gas?! Tell me or I will kneecap you! Don’t test me!”

“You don’t look like a CTU agent,” said the frazzled perp.

“Well, you don’t look like a criminal, but is that stopping me from arresting you?”

It was satisfying, right up to the moment when he was arrested for impersonating a fictional federal officer.