This is just to say. . .

I’m sorry I threw your stuff out the window. Specifically, your records, DJ equipment, CDs, iPod, clothes, and whatever else appeared to be yours. It just seemed like a good idea at the time, when I found out you were having sex with that slut next door.

On second thought, I really don’t regret it at all. And I think I’m going to also key your car . . . and call your mother. I’ll tell her about all the pot you smoked, how you dropped out of school, and used the money she sent you for tuition to buy your drugs and booze.

I’ll be gone by the time you’ve discovered what I’ve done and the only thing you’ll have to remember me by is this note, if you even remember me at all. Because I also came to find out, you have many more whores than you know what to do with. Good luck guessing which one did this and left this note.

Love,

Your Darling Ex-girlfriend(s)