So, I woke up and the penguins were staring through the window. I waved hello to them and wandered downstairs to try to find breakfast. I looked in the kitchen and vaguely wondered why milk was in the toaster and bread was in the milk jug.

I poured myself a slice of bread and went to answer the door. It was a singing telegram! I nodded and pretended what she was singing made sense, then closed the door on her tuba (she’d brought a marching band). I sashayed past the bay window, completely ignoring the dust piled on the couch, and back into the kitchen, where the penguins had somehow made a five course breakfast.

This was surprising, as the only food I had left in the house the night before had been two cups of rice and a can of tuna. I helped myself to a bagel and the penguins helped themselves to the freezer. Suddenly, the doorbell rang again. I opened the door and was greeted by …