... Literally it’s a live gorilla and I was dressed as a banana (or I was a banana, I can’t really remember, Fruit Loops make my mind do funny things). Anyway, I traveled down the street in my hairy vehicle with no particular destination in mind, waving at passers-by and throwing penguins at small children.

After only 3.42 seconds of being outside (approximately) I attracted a parade. First, it was just men in little cars, but they had cell phones and called the emergency parade planners and the whole thing kind of snowballed. As we processed down Elm Street and turned onto Park Place we discovered we had made a fatal mistake. Before us was a large sign, with the ominous words that every traveler dreads to see:

MEMPHIS : 10 MILES

With no other choice available to us, we piled into a clown car and drove to the nearest mall, which happened to be holding auditions for the new reality show, “America’s Next Big Top”. We had ten minutes to get there…