I’ve heard about how better you feel when you finally let someone in. To break the barrier between each other. But doesn’t it all depend on timing? Don’t they have to wonder if something’s wrong? Then confront you about it? Or do you just sit there and pretend everything is okay?

That’s why I can’t tell Landon. That’s why I got out from under the hold he had on me and got into my car. That’s why. To many insecurities, to many what ifs, to many thoughts going through my head of how he would react.

So right now, as the air conditioner is running and my car is parked, I find myself in the same old rut I was in before. But the only difference is that I have a choice in being alone.