Dear Neighbor,

I’m sorry for any inconvenience, but in my own defense: I only emptied your mailbox because I felt bad for your postman, Dennis.

One afternoon, I noticed Dennis had opened your mailbox, and there was absolutely no room for any more mail.

When he left, I felt so bad for him, I went over to your mailbox and emptied it. I emptied it every day for a week, not that you seem to have noticed.

I didn’t mean to be nosy, but yesterday I couldn’t help noticing you had several bills marked FINAL NOTICE . So, I looked through your old mail and I discovered it’s been two months since you took an interest in your bills.

I don’t know what to say. You ignore mail, don’t pay bills, ignore your paper, and ignore me. I hate to bring it up, but two months ago you made such a racket – all that yelling and those two loud bangs – that I came over and knocked and knocked at your door but no one answered. You’re the most inconsiderate neighbors I’ve ever had: I hate to write it, but there it is.

-Your Neighbor