“But…” he pulls out the other hand holding the other gun. “Why do you even want one?”

“It was buy one, get one free,” she says. “And it’s got this really cool feature, look…” she reaches for the first hand holding the first gun, but he holds it away from her.

“No! You can’t send it back if you use it.”

“You don’t even know what it’s for, do you?”

“No, and I don’t want to know! Severed hands, perfectly preserved… this don’t look more than an hour old. I know it was hard, but you swore you’d given it up, you swore before the judge.”

“As if that oath meant anything. Come along!” She stalks back into the house.

“I’m sending these right back!” He calls after her. “I’m going down to the post office now.”

“I wasn’t talking to you! Come along!”

The hands twitch and squirm. With a cry, he drops them and watches as they scurry their way into the house, still holding their guns.