We had been silent for almost an hour when she looked up from her laptop and said, “How do you spell ‘ambivalent’?”

“I don’t care,” I quipped, figuring she would totally get the joke.

Instead, she breathed a heavy and despondent sigh and then stalked out of the room, no doubt heading to the study to look for a dictionary. After a few minutes, she drifted back in, throwing herself into the abandoned chair at her desk.

“You’re a dickhead,” she said and proceeded to type.

My wife, ladies and gentleman. She has no sense of humor. I’m not so ambivalent about that.