This was supposed to be my personal utopia…my Heaven on earth. How did it become this – a shadow image of itself. Why? I’m dating a woman with such a strong, charming and sweet nature that even women want to date her. She is beautiful, to boot. But if she isn’t coked up, she’s drunk, sleeping or modeling. I pined for this job, now I treat it like a chore. What is wrong with me? I got everything I dreamed of, without any of the setbacks. How is that I, of all people, don’t appreciate my own hard work? I think it’s because I cheated myself. I got the work and social success, but I didn’t get the personal success. I didn’t hanglide in Hawaaii when I had the chance: I was working. I didn’t go sightseeing in Japan; I was shamelessly flirting with my client turned wife. Looks like I cheated to get my dreams.