“Having one villainous corporation interested in you is bad enough, never mind two.”

Love that line.

I liked the line about two evil corporations, let alone one. Nice tension to the whole thing, especially in the first half.

Oh man, you totally took it in a different direction. Intrigue without the threat of violence to the family. See, this is exactly what makes this little exercise cool.

And great bringing BioWeps back; but in the original story, I thought they were introduced as a different department of GlobTrak rather than a Sprokley Sprokets/Cogswell Cogs type rivalry. Good stuff to work with.

Haha, John needed to do some thinking!

Funny, having one evil corporation after you is bad enough, let alone two. I love that he can read between the lines and knows exactly what the package is meant to invoke.