He tried to cheer himself up. Okay, John wrote for HBO ’s hottest drama, but had no time for his second wife, or impending second divorce. While Lila had morfed playing a lawyer on t.v. into a real life career as one, she had no idea who her kids were anymore. Patrick dined with A-Listers but still hadn’t found his Mr. Right. Ellie’s designs draped Paris, London and L.A. models, but she had debt up to several feet above her ears.

Still, Gary thought, what balanced out his own debt and waning resume fabulousness? Sims that lived in mansions. An impressive DVD collection. Let’s not forget his enviable array of action figures. He rolled his eyes.

Something darted in front of his car. Gary slammed on his brakes, but didn’t avoid the sickening thud and a loud yelp under his screeching tires. His car skittered toward the side of the road. Startled in his seat, repeating to himself oh shit, oh shit… he glanced in his review mirror. The body of a coyote lay in the middle of the road.