yet again the wind is knocked from my lungs
i fall back this time, letting myself hit the floor, so tired, so sick and tired of this
its cold, and hard, the floor, a slab where the past lays, not yet put to rest, still kicking and screaming for my blood, clawing at me, pulling me down, i wish i could just let it take me, just relax and stop fighting it, just sleep, on the cold hard floor
a part of my mind screams “COWARD” it yells, “WEAKLING, GET YOUR ASS UP ”
groaning, straining, i pull myself up, “do not show pain” i tell myself, “do not show weakness, your stronger than this”, i watch as the floor gets farther away, fighting against every urge to lay back down
im up now, im standing on my own two feet, and you arent going to knock me down again
i wont let you