he fights back the tears
tears that he thought he was immune to
tears that he thought were done
he doesnt cry, he doesnt know how, no matter how much he wants to, he cant let it happen
the faces around him are blurred, though his eyes are dry, he doesnt see them, he doesnt want to, doesnt want to get attached again
he passes her, breath caught in lungs that dont seem to work, his heartbeat is jacked, his hands shake, sadness, tears, again he has to fight back the god damned tears
she walks by, he still cant breathe, not a full breath, ever
he keeps walking, “there”, he says, “that wasnt so hard”, the words are hollow, he cant even lie to himself, his voice seems to grate against his ears, there is only one voice he wants to hear, and its gone, already down the hall, out of sight, her absence only reminds him of the aching hole in his heart, the one that never is far from his mind, just like the image of her smiling, never far from his eyes, always there when he blinks, when he sleeps
fight the tears