Wham, Bam, Science Slam!
“Like your Mom” Fred mimed silently to himself. “Har, Har Todd, you ARE truly a dick. Is this like high school or what?” he thought.
For a brief second Fred toyed with the idea of giving his new culture a taste of Todd then quickly decided against it. Besides it would probably find Todd as unpalatable as he did anyway.
“Let a real scientist take a look at it” Todd said pushing Fred out of the way before he had a chance to protest.
“Hmmm, it seems to be mutating… at an unbelievable rate” Todd mused “Wow it IS just like your Mom!”
It was at that moment that the culture suddenly developed a taste for the glass dish that was hold it, then the metal of the microscope, soon to be followed by the wood of the table.
The last thing Fred saw before becoming NEXT on the menu was a nude Todd running for the door. “Damn” he thought, “it really wouldn’t eat him!”