wow i like the last line.
.
it sort of give this sci fi ish story a real world connection

I like that you’ve made Dell an evil corporation as well. However, I’m not too sure on how to respond to the characters both becoming seasoned action heroes. I kind of liked the idea of them being normal people, caught up in this due to the great pay and benefits offered by GlobTrak.
I think you’ve done another good job with the parody, especially with the last line. You always come up with good last lines.

Yeah, I know what you mean John. My approach so far in writing these characters is that when it comes to villainy, they’re part of the game, they’ve seen it all or heard it all already. I think it’s interesting how Ridcully made Phil a bit more of a hero but I’m always going to take everything down a peg with a bit of humor, at least in this series.

That makes sense. The whole villainy game is old hat for these guys. It’s all part of the job. They’re not necessarily trained assassins or what not, it’s just that they perceive the scenario as mundane, part of the daily grind. Ok, I can get behind that. Good explanation.
It also keeps in with the general theme that going to work for a super villainous organization is just another job.

Very nice, Steve. I like the understated humor, the idea that working for a super villain comany will expose you to violence at some point, and the Obliterator Ray is great.

I should have a sequel ready by tomorrow some time, I need to have a bit of a think first as to what is going to happen on the way to the volcano base, or in it.

I have finally written a sequel, hope you like it :-D

Cool, I think though instead of writing “Those guys had flare” you meant “Those guys had flair”

I loved the inclusion of the volcano base. I wouldn’t have expected Jen to be a ‘field agent’ type, but it makes the story more fun, so it’s all good.