“Ketchup?”
“Check.”
“Dental Floss?”
“Check.”
“Ora—holy crap!“

That’s when I saw it, or should I say her. She was wearing a green beret and a matching vest. She was on one of those scooters they have at super markets. Oh, and did I mention she was coming right at us.

I ran out of the way, dodging the uncontrollable scooter flled with apples and 100 calorie packs. She kept going, knocking a cashier out of the way. It wasn’t going to stop, and she was headed for a display of vitaminwater bottles. The next thing you know, they were rolling around on the tile floors of ShopRite. I started to say, “honey,” but Jason was no longer by my side. I saw him standing outside, laughing.

“You know I could have gotten killed by that thing!” I told him teasingly. He looked at me. I looked inside through the window at our abandoned shopping cart. “Do you know what she looked like? The woman on the scooter?” I glared at him. “Yeah, insane, mad.”

“Yeah, I guess, but I was thinking crazed Girl Scout.”