This was inspired by an email exchange I just had. It’s pretty sloppy and rushed, but kind of funny. No?

Has promise but it feels a bit disjointed. You kind of start off with one feel and quickly jump to another without any transition.Just seemed a bit too jarring and kind of ruined the fun of it for me.

However, understandable considering that you said you rushed it. God know I’ve done the same… or worse :)

LoA

Love those radioactive gerbil turds, that is quite an image.

KevMullins, I fully agree with you. It feels off. Most of that is due to it being rushed and the other part is that I ran out of characters. This probably would have worked better as two ficlets, but it&#8217;s the challenge I was trying to overcome. Plus, I just really wanted to get it out while I was thinking about it.<br />Thank you for the insightful comments though.<br />Ridcully, when my friend mentioned space gerbils, radioactive gerbil turds was the first thing I thought of.

That damn character limit is a killer huh? Besides I’ve done exactly the same thing rushing to get a story down before it drifted away.
BTW , “radioactive gerbil turds” is crazy funny. ;)

very funny sci-fi tale, set in the far future.. clearly grandpa has an imagination.. right? didn;t really happen..