Brilliant. I’d say perfect, but then you’d get on to me. So briliant.

Love the last part.

Very Tony Robbins-ish, but I like it. Down with ‘The Man’ for not letting you finish!

good job on the thoroughly strident, ‘this is how it is’ tone.

This reminds me so much of 1984. I don’t think I’ve read your poetry before. It’s very beautiful.
LoA

poetic/should be a alternative rock song.

Kermitgorf is correct, this should be set to music
LoA