Love the action in this one; great description of the ‘resurrection’!

Ha ha. I’m always a sucker for people knocking themselves out running into things.
You’re going to hate me for this but, it should be “other than here” in that third to last paragraph.
Also, I think you can get more creative with the sound in the second paragraph. Maybe something like “The process bore a horrific moan, like the crushing of a thousand stale potato chips behind the squeal of a rubber band stretched beyond its limits.” Currently it stands only because the rest of the writing is superb.

Err, stands out. Sorry.

ALRO613 thanks for taking the time to give me feedback.<br />John… smart arse ;) Hey I had to have a little fun with the descriptions. Point well taken, it does lean a bit toward “purple prose”

@Kev, I think you misunderstood me. I really liked all of the descriptions, except for “It was like breaking bones combined…” Something about that felt more mundane than the rest of it. I love interesting similes and metaphors to bring a story to life. I just think you settled for this description given that the other ones in here are very, very good. Does that make sense?

I do and agree… it was the weakest point in this story.

I really enjoyed your imagery in this one. I think this one, as John said, stands out for sure in terms of the quality. I have just one thing to point out: this is the second time you’ve used the phrase ”…she could barely comprehend, more or less accept…” and what I think you’re trying to say is ”…she could barely comprehend, much less accept…” If you do actually mean the former, then ignore this. I’m just not familiar with that particular turn of phrase.

Probably a “local” phrase… I’ve been in the South too long :) As usual, your comments are most appreciated kaellinn.

Again with the great title. Resurrection Blues, I like it! Solid addition.

You made the same mistake twice. It should be:

They were more like the screams of a wounded animal, held live over an open flame, than the cries of a sentient, thinking being.

Good pickup MBTM , I read past that the first time through. That was a terrifying and well described resurrection scene. Very vivid and another great title, by the way.