When I made it to the creek I was dying. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, my side felt like there were a thousand swords thrust into it, my head was spinning, the world was falling apart.
I fell, underneath our tree, staring at the swollen creek. And I let myself fall apart.
Sobs wracked my body, shaking me until I was sure I would literally fall to pieces. I screamed at the clouds, I pounded the ground with my fists, I cursed the world. And I cried. I thought of all the things she had said to me, all the things she had gone through, and for what? Nothing. Nothing! She had died, of all ironies, by the wheel of a drunk driver.
I cried until I could no longer feel my tears. I screamed until I could no longer speak. I lay against the rough, rain-covered rock until my mind finally gave way to unconsciousness.
With the darkness came no respite from the pain. It was haunted by my nightmares, and I awoke again, screaming.
The rain had stopped, but my pain had not.