Monkeys make horrible spouses, I guess that is what happens when you don’t ask questions when using a mail-order bride service. You’re probably wondering how a monkey got involved in something like that.

Well, I guess I shouldn’t use that term for my wife. It’s an insult to every monkey in the world. My wife looks and acts like she should be nothing but fossilized bones dug up in Africa and named Lucy. Her rather australopithicean looks are augmented when she decides not to shave her legs…and arms…and back.

I just wish I knew how to get rid of her. I’ve tried divorce but I couldn’t find a good reason. I’ve tried anullment and found out that it won’t work without agreement from both husband and wife.

I never thought that I would ever get away from her until I read an article about a man that had an annoying wife and found a creative way of getting rid of her.

That’s when I started formulating my plan. Hee, hee, hee.