I walked along the hallways, thinking everything over in my head. I felt so detatched and helpless… I felt alien to the world around me, people walking past me without a second thought. Do they care about me? What do they see when the look at me, anything? Of course they don’t care, they don’t even know me… Why should I expect them to support me and my feelings when the only ledge i have to hold on to is crumbling? Yes, I have several good friends who are always there, but they cannot harbor my heart…

Is it so selfish to want God’s greatest gift so much? The one thing He commands us to do above all else: to love... Strangely, I haven’t been able to express this that seems so simple without pain for past five months… Then again, Isn’t love pain? Doesn’t it shape us? Change us into who we will be for the rest of eternity? I’m afraid I won’t know until I find a safe place for my heart… the only problem is that I don’t think I’ll ever find a haven for my heart…