Hmm…I’m a titch bit confuzzled. But the descriptions so far are good, and I like the way you portray the characters. : ) Do you have any ideas for this story? I wouldn’t like to make a sequel that’d take the plot in a completely different direction.

Nice ominous ending, and I like the little back and forth about being slow with the techno-rebuttle. Gigs don’t equal smarts, apparently.

When I first read this, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was bothered by it. It has great dialog, it superbly establishes the personalities of the antagonists, and it has an ominous ending. Then I reread the ArrivalL prequel and realized that the statement “lets find Shanasha.â€? had me expecting them to be heading to the forest already. This sequel stopped the action to fill in more details, but IMHO feel the last paragraph should be moved to the top of the story.

When I first read this, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was bothered by it. It has great dialog, it superbly establishes the personalities of the antagonists, and it has an ominous ending. Then I reread the ArrivalL prequel and realized that the statement “lets find Shanasha.â€? had me expecting them to be heading to the forest already. This sequel stopped the action to fill in more details, but IMHO feel the last paragraph should be moved to the top of the story.

good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

lol, has this site been loading slow for anyone else lately?! I got really click happy, or click frustrated, sorry. Maybe you can get most popular : )

NightMaiden &#8211; go with the flow. I haven&#8217;t thought about it much more than what I have here.<br />Krulltar – tried to swap the paragraphs. Didn’t quite gel so i left it the way it was.
@Tad – Ficlets has been very slow recently. Also the star rating is not working so nicely. have to click up to 6 times to rate.