Clotifoth began retelling the story to me, obviously disgusted with it. “Well, it was one night after a huge party. I didn’t get drunk, luckily, but [my girlfriend] Neko-Gin’s family had gotten really, really wasted.” He appeared nauseous for a moment, but continued. “I was in the bathroom, using the toilet of course, when all of a sudden-”

He paused, then continued. “Neko-Gin’s grandmother, completely naked, opened the door and asked ‘Is this taken?’ I vomited then and there!” Clotifoth couldn’t tell it, but most of the viewers of my talk show were laughing madly from this experience, broadcasted across the nation.

“So what did you do?” I asked him, barely keeping from laughing, shakily holding the microphone to him. He spoke, nervously, “I stood up, pants down, surprisedly karate kicked her out the door- which ripped my jeans in half.” I laughed madly at this next line, part of the broadcast which would get me an Emmy nomination. If only I knew the entire truth of him then and there…