this is kinda good (it has potential) but the thing that annoyed me the most (and most likely others) was soooo much IM talk.Actually the whole thing was IM talk.

I’m not sure if this was supposed to be a sequel or merely something inspired by my piece: I have no objection to the latter, but if it’s supposed to be the former, the author might look up the word “merkin,” since I’m not sure he or she picked up just how crude and tasteless my little joke was in the previous piece. And yes, the IMspeak does detract from it.