I Should Be Asleep

I am falling asleep -
I wonder what, if anything, I’ll dream.
I hear the trains screaming and
I see nothing but the dark behind my eyelids.
I want a dream, any dream.
I am waiting eagerly to fall asleep.
I pretend that I’m already there…
I feel, not the sheets around me, but the dream aether.
I touch something, not real, and fall into the dream.
I worry, too much, that it will be nightmarish.
I cry out in a sudden irrational panic.
I am not asleep.
I understand too late that I have fallen, not asleep, but awake, &
I say, quietly, “Aw, crap.”
I dream no more – I am now hopelessly entangled in waking.
I try, so hard, to regain that drowsy feeling and
I hope that it comes soon but oh, gods,
I am going to be so tired in the morning…

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