“Am I a relic, Jim?”

“A relic?”

“Yeah, a relic. Obsolete. Past my prime.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I think communication is important.”

“Well, you are a communication professor. I’d say relic might be a bit harsh. What are you getting at?”

“Term papers. Look at this. Out of a class of seventy-two, only four of my students know the difference between ‘you’re’ and ‘your.’”

“Steph, don’t be pedantic—”

“Hear me out. Four. Four students, Jim! And only seven knew how to use ‘to,’ ‘too,’ and ‘two.’”

“Heck, I screw those up.”

“Do you know what course I teach? This is a senior-level human communication seminar. In college. These kids are illiterate!”

“Just calm down. Have you had your meds yet today?”

“YES! Yes. I’m just so frustrated…”

“Fail them.”

“What?”

“Fail them all. It’s your class.”

“I wish I could, Jim, but I’d lose my job.”

“So it’s political?”

“Welcome to academia. The bastion of higher learning, and I have to put up with this: ‘um i dont no how 2 comuncate.’”

“Intelligent.”