This poem is better structurally than a lot of the ones I’ve seen on Ficlets. It’s still a little rough in parts in terms of rhythm. If you’re really interested and want to work on improving the flow of this, I suggest reading up on the various types of poetic meter: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meter_(poetry)

It has some rough parts, but other than that, it’s a good poem. I only wrote 2 poems the whole time I’ve been on ficlets, so I wouldn’t really know anything. lol.

i really liked it, very good!!!