My titles suck.

Ouch, ouch, and ouch. Excellent job hitting every excrutiating detail. Sure doesn’t like a happy ending is coming for this duo.

I originally wrote this for uselessness’ Precise Maneuvers Challenge, don’t know why I changed my mind.

Indeed. Very painful description. I don’t think the title sucks. It’s not spectacular, but it works. Good, unique titles are very difficult. Especially given the frequency with which you need to produce one in this format.