I am watching my husband as he watches “Lost” while munching on his vanilla ice cream. I know that this will be another night without sex. How long has it been for this lonesome housewife? I dream at night of Elvis – has he really been dead since 1977? The sex is great with Elvis but it would be better with my husband, as I love it when he screams out my name when he reaches an orgasm. I guess he sreams out my name as he’s not really sure that he’s really having sex. Perhaps it’s because it’s been over six months since our last encounter. No, he’s not cheating, how could he be when he watches TV 24 /7, and when he’s not watching TV he’s either in the kitchen snorting for food or in the bathroom, or passing gas in his favorite recliner. He also has control of the remote control and his 60” TV. Tonight I will again dream of Elvis – he lives in my bed.

To be continued…...........