Back in the day, I had an old sergeant pull me aside and give me two pieces of advice: Never play pool with a man named after a state, and never get involved with a woman named after a city.

I wondered what ol’ Sarge would have said about my client. Oscar Nantz was a mystery all in his self. Her self.

Oscar was a mystery all in Oscar ’s self.

I knew he was married. I knew his wife was as mean as they come. I did not know why he dressed up like a woman, though I did hear some say he looked better than his old lady in a skirt. Growing up, some called him Nantz’y. I guess the name stuck.

When he – she – Shucks!

When Oscar got dressed up in his girl clothes, he still called himself “Nancy.” Nancy from New York. More commonly, New York Nancy.

A guy named after a state. A woman named after a city. It hurt my head just trying to make sense of it.

I’m rarely at a loss for words, but the less said about a guy Oscar ’s size in a latex skirt, the better.