One day, during the hottest part of summer, the king of Sparta and the king of Persia met to have lunch. A giant table was set, plates put out, candles lit, all that remained was what to order for the pizza.

“I would like plain pepperoni.” said the king of Persia.

The Spartan king gaped at him, “Plain pepperoni? Thats boring! Lets spice this up with pickles.”

“Pickles? That tastes absolutely dreadful! Plain pepperoni is the way of the future!”

“Yes, but where’s the daring. With bad tasting food the three hundred of your taste buds must fight off the taste.”

“What? This is madness!”

“Madness? This isn’t madness! This… is… SPARTA !!!!!”

“Your right. This isn’t madness, this is a pig pen.”

“Take that back!”

“I don’t believe I will.”

“Then draw steel pretty boy!”

“Gladly. Pigs for the slaughter.”

...And thus the Persian War began.