Joey walked slowly on his paper thin legs. Then a breeze came and blew him backwards down the hill making all his former progress moot. I HATE being a two-dimensional character! thought Joey. I mean I have plenty of personality but my author just never portrays me correctly.

Joey began to walk back up the hill. He had been trying to climb up this simple hill for three years now, but that wind kept blowing him down. He sighed and thought about Gandalf and Harry Potter and Charlie. All where lucky they weren’t written by a two year old. They were three dimensional, they could walk up the hill. They had passed him up many times on his doomed trudge up the hill.

Soon the wind came and blew Joey back down where he lay there and cried. He gazed up at the sky and yelled, “Some author, somewhere, please come and make me more than 2-D. Make me whole!”

Joey then lay there and cried.