All this torment is making me crazy!

I toss and turn at night, unable to sleep, barely able to speak, barely able to breathe.

It’s you.

Why do you still have this effect over me? I haven’t seen you for over a year, but you still impact my life massively.

I don’t hate you. I hate what you did and I hate who you are. I hate myself for letting me feel this strongly still, for the inability to move on. God knows I’ve tried. I’ve been with others since you, but I can’t enjoy just being with someone. I’m always on guard.

I hope that you’re disgusted with yourself. I hope that every day you try to peel yourself out of that wretched skin and start afresh. I hope you live your new life trying to mend the community you helped reduce to fear and mistrust.

Somehow though, I doubt it.

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