Terry Tervis was fat and ugly.

At the photo shoot she could barely pose, so concerned was she with the rolls of cellulite she almost had, that she could almost see, almost hanging over the top of her bikini bottoms. It was revolting.

When she was handed a copy of the final calendar, she glanced at it and tossed it away in disgust. Those eyebrows, like the mangy fur of a werewolf! Those horrible detached earlobes, like a pair of saggy wings hanging off her head! Why couldn’t she just look more like Miss September?

“I heard your calendar went to press,” said Mrs. Tervis. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

Terry slumped over half a cup of yogurt and a bottle of diet lemonade. “I don’t want to talk about it, Mom.”

“Honey, I saw the proofs. You looked beautiful!”

“Yeah, if you like yellow teeth and love handles.”

“Terry. You looked beautiful.” Mrs. Tervis leveled her gaze across the kitchen table at her daughter. The girl sighed, giving up; arguing never worked. Mrs. Tervis simply couldn’t be reasoned with.