I stand up from the couch and the world in front of my eyes waver as my stomach aches and sways. I’ve got that dull ache that goes all the way from the bottom of my abdomen to my frontal lobe. A hang over like the remnants of a sugar high.

I go to the bathroom, but can’t make myself vomit no matter how hard I’m willing it to happen while sitting on the cold dark tiled floor. Nothing, just that toxic feeling in my veins and my head filled with foggy water. Fully clothed I step into the shower that always drips. Pull the curtain closed, and put the shower on as hot as I can stand it.

Sitting down in the tub with my cheek on the edge , I feel my clothing become heavy with the pounding water that feels like hail against my chest and thighs. It’s so warm, the moist air filling in around me, suffocating almost. My eyes start to close , slowly but surely until I drift off into the darkness of my subconscious mind, waiting for the inevitable dream to take hold that never does.