Gasp! as the undead walk among us!

Scream! as reanimated corpses hunger for flesh!

Run! when they come after your brain!

“Hold on, you’re blowing things way out of proportion here.” The man in the pinstripe suit smiled his most reassuring smile, which isn’t saying much.

“Are you freaking kidding? The zombies are right there!” I shouted, pointed through the glass.

“Correction: The zombie. There’s only one,” he sneered.

“Okay, fine, there’s only one, but he’s right there!” The zombie was scraping at the office window, hairy and overweight, but still plenty vicious. He looked strangely familiar, with a bushy beard that snaked in every direction from his decaying Russian skull.

“Don’t panic,” said the man. “It’s only a matter of time. Zombie Karl Marx will find you. Why run from destiny?”

So that’s who it was. Gross. “Are you nuts? He wants our brains!”

“He wants everyone’s brains. Equally. It’s perfectly fair. Maybe you should be more generous and just give him yours?”

Screw it. I ran.