This could be a lot better with some spell checking and punctuation… it’s very difficult to follow your train of thought. Maybe you’d like to edit it?

lol… love this series!!

i agree with uselessness…it needs a serious edit before anyone can really read and fully understand it.

I think the story has some potential, but I can’t be polite on the offensive nature of your writing. 15 years old, and you put out this drivil on a public writing site?
Let’s start with your story love has its price
, in it the dead body is craddled, then 2 days later she visits the supposed dead body at the hospital? So much to be said, with so little space is hard to adjust to, so please atleast review your writing before publishing it.

In regards to this series (I love her), like I said in my previous comment, it has a hell of alot of potential, but your run on sentences are annoying to a reader. Flicets maybe short, but that doesn’t mean punctuation should’nt be used. Run on sentences can be used to set a tone or mindset of character, but should not be used as a writting style, with the exception of poetic story-telling.
Please take what i said constructively. I would love to see more of your writing, but in a structured style.

God, people just can’t seem to give you a break, anyway i actually kinda like it. But really just be careful.

I love it John… like that person said… just take it constructively… and Sierra’s gonna edit anyways right?

@Whinney and Twitch – is there something I’m missing?

wat do u mean, we sorta know him his gf is one of our best friends

john’s my bf and those two are my bff’s so wat do u mean by missing?

yeppers, yeah seriously wat do u mean?

I figured the bff/bf/gf thing out by reading everyones ficlets/comments.
But I don’t understand:
”…people just can’t seem to give you a break…”
What break does he need? _If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. _ ~Lao Tzu
”…really just be careful.”
Careful in writing? Careful in responding to us?
”…and Sierra’s gonna edit anyways…”
Then he should’ve made it a draft first so she can edit it before it’s shown to everyone to critique.

well wat i meant is he just started and he needed a break, and the just be careful thing is not to write so much stuff to get into trouble, (our school has issues w/ people talking bout other students even when its not at school,) and the last part sierra’s gonna edit anyways well idk bout that.

Sierra is gonna edit it because they agreed that he needed help with punctuation.