Okay.. Last line background: Caterpillar his memorable phrase is a breathy “Whooo… are… you?”. In the Disney movie, this line is shown as he exhales as ‘O’, ‘R’ and ‘U’.

Okay… got a problem with this line “The four froze, as if no motion would not alert the man to their presence.“

Am I saying that right? The double negative makes it say that if they moved then they ‘think’ he would see them correct? _help?

You are, but what about “The four froze, as remaining motionless would not alert the man to their presence.” Removes the double negative and says the same thing.
Also, in the first paragraph, I’d go with “she proceeded to open the unlocked boxes.”

Err, as if remaining. Sorry.

Jen you are totally rocking this… I LOVE IT !

I love that Alex’s main obsession is either getting to play a game of Joust or sit down and read his Omni. He’s still shell-shocked, and singularly male—as in, he can only focus on one thing at a time.
Omni Omni Omni Omni…oooh Joust!

John- both of those make more sense. That’s why I need my “quiet” time when Ficletting. ;)
JL- just going with the setup from Kev and John’s introduction to Alex in the first few Ficlets in the series :D.
Kev- Couldn’t do it without your ideas! Afterall, this is your baby. ;)

yeah but it would never have been this good without you!