Instructions Not Included
“You joined up with the Coalition of Nefarious Distinction expecting booze and babes? What are they teaching you kids at college now-a-days? What school do you go to?â?
I laughed so hard I had to wipe away the tears. “Well, that explains a lot. I think I’ll be doing the world a favor here.â? I threw my hands out in his general direction, palms up, and flicked my hands downward. “Go.â? It worked in Spiderman.
“What are you doing?â? Mike looked confused.
“Shut up.â? I tried again, this time palms outward. “Shabba lama ding dong.â? Two more times. “Abracadabra.â? Nothing.
“You’re trying to do to me what you did to that lady aren’t you.â? Confusion obliterated by fear. “You’re trying to have that stuff eat me.â? He curled into the fetal position; he was really good at it. “Please man. Please, just let me go.â?
One more try. “Zoom.â? Dammit!
I took a few steps closer to him. “This is your lucky day kid.â? I grabbed some duct tape from a shelf and began tying him up. “I’m sure someone will find you.â?