Slipped from present to past tense there. Keeping everything in the present is definitely difficult to do, especially over an extended series. Lovely how they sort of pull it together, figure out half of a plan, but then we get a teaser/suspenseful ‘uh-oh’ at the end.

I was going to say the same thing as THX , only with more spelling and grammar mistakes. It’s very jarring when you move from present to past tense and back again. This is a very difficult thing to deal with, especially (as THX points out) when writing in present tense. All of your memories are in past tense; we tend to think in past tense more often than present.
I think you get that straightened out and you’ll have a really nice piece here. I do like your dialog though. Feels natural.

I saw what you guys were talking about and I cleaned it up a bit. I hope I smoothed it out enough.

Works much better now.

wow this is a great story!! i love it! whats going to happen!!??