Hey, I love the story line but I have one suggestion. Make your sentences flow. Like try to make each one connect using words that transition. You feelin’ me? Other than that awesome!!!! Thanx for putting it on here!

Oh, by the way, you said you needed lessons from me so I’m here to help!! Whatever you need : )

it was a pertty good sequel. But im with brunettechick, make them flow with the rest of the story and your other sentences. But it was really good though.

OK thanks guys, I’ll try to do that!