I’m interested to see where you are going with this, but I’m really hoping you add some paragraph breaks. Also, you’ve got a decent number of grammatical mistakes in here that are somewhat off-putting. Everyone has the occasional mistake, but when there are a lot of them, it makes it harder to get really involved in the story. I think an extra five to ten minutes of editing would really improve your writing. And finally, I thought it was always rum and coke? Whiskey could be a Southern thing I guess.
John Perkins