I like it. It had a minimalist sort of feel to it but still got across the situation and her feelings about it. Slight sense of foreboding or impending doom maybe?
As you will hopefully see from the sequel there is an undercurrent of conflict, a sense of impending doom or trouble that I was trying to put across. Hopefully it’s enough of a surprise to still be interesting :-)
THX 0477
Maleghast