I love the line at the end of the opening pgh, “This was bad.” Talk about an understatement! I also like how the sentences vary throughout this piece, some longer and more descriptive, allowing the reader to visualize the scene, others cut and dried, adding to the immediacy of it.
Another awesome entry. A great, subtle hint of humor mixed in with the tense moment describing the seven guns and his reasons for not carrying them. Apparently though, you are, in fact, human. This “tried so hard not be defined” needs a “to” before or after “not.”
This thing is playing out brilliantly. I love how you concluded it and his thought process behind only bringing one gun so as not to be defined by his physicality.
That last line was great, you have a talent at describing things that happen without actually having to outright mention them. It’s as though you write around an action, if that makes sense?
♠Ana Cristina♥
John Perkins
thebetweenspace
g2 (la pianista irlandesa)
JMSquire
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Kermitgorf
grazulis
Markellus