To be continued!

You need an apostrophe in the word “its” in the last sentence. OK, my curiosity is definitely snagged here, especially by the ending to this!

Still not quite seeing what could be quoted out of context yet though. You kind of set me up to look for it.
I like where this is going so far. The storytelling aspect of it gives it a different feel.

Ana would have to catch that mistake. An apostrophe is just a stoned comma (get it, it’s high? aw, nevermind), and she’s the queen of finding comma mistakes. =P

@JP, hey, I am an English teacher. :p And I loved your description of an apostrophe!

You’re both priceless, I adore the feedback and grammar catches.

I’m totally on the fence between the run-on nature versus the fact that it kind of works as someone rambling and telling this long story but trying to get through it quickly for the sake of the listener.