I have him now! Gaze at my secret map of the world, and notice Australia is worth two free armies, and can only be attacked from Siam!

And if I fortify Siam, it will be impossible to attack without fighting a bloody and futile land war in Asia!

It’s possible my erstwhile rival is aware of Africa’s three armies, but obviously he doesn’t see Africa is subject to attack from three continents, exposing him to battle on multiple fronts!

This is why my map cannot fall into enemy hands. Therefore, good Schlubnick, my most-trusted servant, I charge you with this duty: if either the would-be King Of Mars or self-styled Lord Of Apokolips breaches my defenses and comes within reach of the map, you must eat it as quickly as possible. Yes, I knew this duty would make you proud.

That’s not why you’re crying? But why?

Oh. I see. It is mounted on a large piece of cardboard that can only be folded in the middle, yes. But you have a large mouth, Schlubnick, and a strong stomach. I know you won’t disappoint me!